I write on too many blogs

But most of them are mainstream and most of the people know who I am, so I'm not really able to say the personal things I want to get out of my system. So I thought, I'd stay away from the blog aggregates and blogrolls, a space where just a few people may stumble onto, a place I'd feel okay putting up the sentimental stuff and yes, if you are reading this you are one of them, just don't tell anyone else about this.

Sometimes I wonder why we do the things we do, even when not necessary, but apparently it's something everyone does, well so says my mum. I'm at this point in life where, I have skills that make me money, good enough to live for myself, get married on the beach and even have a daughter called Christina. Of course when I snap out of that dream, there is the family coming up and saying, your options aren't safe, writing won't pay much, you die like lasantha or get tied to a tree and, of course, there is the you can do better!

But the point is, do I want to do better? But do I really know what I really want? Fuck no! I'm just 20, I don't want to live that long, but I think I have longer to live, how do I judge where that end of the race to manhood is? Is there an end? Do we just go on one day till we wake up to take a piss in the morning and think, "I think i've crossed the finish line".

16 years of education already with no end in sight, it's like a giant redwood tree growing up my ass every year, every year it seems harder to get away from. Sigh it's at times like this I wish I was born in the 60's just sex, drugs, rock and roll!

I'm sure I'd be at a Jimi Hendrix concert, with long hair, bell bottoms, hugging my girlfriend and singing along to 'castles made of sand'. Oh well, back to reality, the books, the research and every other meh.