Pheelings

Such a weird thing, coming on at the wrong time, for the wrong reasons and most of the time for the wrong people. I wish sometimes, it could just be turned off when not needed. Even this latest case of them coming up for me is just weird because of the person and circumstances involved.

I'm at this point where 2 months past the break up, I'm ok for another relationship but still I don't want to get into one, just because. I don't want to like anyone at the moment, because I have too much work and more importantly because I don't want to.

This has happen before and the solution was to stay away from her, but this time around, due to circumstances, I literally have to get closer to her. Saying why, will actually give away the person. She is a lot of things I like and look for in a woman, but somehow , I know inside there is no use pursuing this because it's not going to work out.

But looking further into it, I think it's more of knowing it won't workout, that makes this weird but moreover, I just don't want to go through any heartbreak and build up false expectations, I simply don't have the patience or the time to actually deal with it.

Oh well, I don't know if I'm in denial or not, but as much as I would love something to happen, I don't want it to go into the awkward. Sigh, tis a dilemma, hopefully this is just a temporary thing that I will forget tomorrow.                                                                                                                      

Serenade

Was the soundtrack of the night yesterday as I think my most mixed emotion day of the year came to an end. It was a morning where I went to see my best friend of 8 years, after not seeing him for a year. Of course it was a big deal because here was a man I had seen almost everyday of my life for the past 8 years.

But sadly people had to ruin it by acting immature and just taking the piss. But I guess throughout the day, the other reason to smile was that I had a Skype date with the lovely Seni, which is always something I can do however late in the night it goes on till. Although yesterday I did manage to ruin a surprise she had for me sadly.

But as usual Seni cheered me up, and as I was about to go to sleep, it was Kei and Vishmi in the act. It was just a whole exchange of happiness and brilliant songs. I just can't describe it, I just know I didn't want to go to sleep. I don't know what I'd do without friends like them.