Monday, November 8, 2010
Those Words
They just changed my week, my month, and my life? Well we'll have to wait and see about that. But in the mean time, that voice just sings them over and over again, God's work? I think it is, I'm grateful I get to see this much of him. I mean he's got 7 billion other people in the world to manage and to feel his hand on me for so long, I'm seriously blessed. He's taking me the places I'm going, echoing forever in heart those words in that voice "Amazing grace..."
Sunday, November 7, 2010
He
People tell me it's about going to church on Sunday, praying and wearing symbols to display your faith. Can faith be displayed? Isn't faith an intangible bond formed by you with God by believing in him.
I know things haven't, don't and may not go as planned in my life, but I am grateful. I have spent many days fasting so that my mum and the world would see better days. Many hours I have tortured myself to feel pain in the hope that just like Jesus suffered for us, my silent suffering could bring peace to others. I'm not sure if it worked or not though.
But life got to be so bad at a point that I just blamed Him for it all. Forgetting everything I had done, he had for me, I just hated him. He created hate I thought. He was the reason for suffering, I just couldn't. I took off my crucifix, my medallions, my rosary, my bible and almost a part of my life that had so many years of religion and what I thought was worship in them. Shut it all away.
But He, it was just the start, or maybe what started those years ago, of his intricate plan for me. A plan so wonderful, it brings me to tears, a journey to amazing, even I run out of words to write about it. I know I have been touched by God, I know when I have, in this new church in the middle of mass, on that 'how sweet the sound', my soul was more alive than it's ever been.
From yesterday's darkness, I have emerged to set fire to tomorrow, with the colors of light that I want to paint on the world. I believe, God will guide by brush, he is in its strokes, and through me I hope, he will make the world believe, he will make them see, what religion is, who He is and what it means to be Christian.
Wow, it looks like I've been locked up in a church and brainwashed. But no, these are the words of a man who has seen the light through his soul's dark night. Risen up like the Lord to feel God's warmth. And now like the sun of man, I'm a man of God, ready to color this mundane world with He.
I know things haven't, don't and may not go as planned in my life, but I am grateful. I have spent many days fasting so that my mum and the world would see better days. Many hours I have tortured myself to feel pain in the hope that just like Jesus suffered for us, my silent suffering could bring peace to others. I'm not sure if it worked or not though.
But life got to be so bad at a point that I just blamed Him for it all. Forgetting everything I had done, he had for me, I just hated him. He created hate I thought. He was the reason for suffering, I just couldn't. I took off my crucifix, my medallions, my rosary, my bible and almost a part of my life that had so many years of religion and what I thought was worship in them. Shut it all away.
But He, it was just the start, or maybe what started those years ago, of his intricate plan for me. A plan so wonderful, it brings me to tears, a journey to amazing, even I run out of words to write about it. I know I have been touched by God, I know when I have, in this new church in the middle of mass, on that 'how sweet the sound', my soul was more alive than it's ever been.
From yesterday's darkness, I have emerged to set fire to tomorrow, with the colors of light that I want to paint on the world. I believe, God will guide by brush, he is in its strokes, and through me I hope, he will make the world believe, he will make them see, what religion is, who He is and what it means to be Christian.
Wow, it looks like I've been locked up in a church and brainwashed. But no, these are the words of a man who has seen the light through his soul's dark night. Risen up like the Lord to feel God's warmth. And now like the sun of man, I'm a man of God, ready to color this mundane world with He.
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