21

So here I am again, in front of a screen typing my thoughts, etc, in and sending them out into the vastness of cyberspace among the bytes and networks, like blowing bubbles into the night sky. 21, I've finally made it, but I don't see the big deal, probably coz I've spent the last few years acting like one. I fail to see the significance and why people make a big deal out of this, except now I can drink and party my life away without a second thought. But if only I was normal. The only 21 I see important is Adele's album, such an amazing singer she is, and I'm glad to have named my guitar after her years ago. Funny how all these people who consider themselves big fans after just listening to Rolling In the Deep, after she won the award, without ever having a track from 19, even Hometown Glory. Oh well, not my problem, they can do as they please.

But coming back to the 21, in retrospect, 20 was pretty good in terms, of life, family and love. Though I do wish the 3 would get along easier, but then again, a writer's existence is never normal, it's all about cherishing the semblances of it that come along, time to time. What a relief it is that the lil bro's finally learning to balance work and studying like I did, I suppose he just has to find identity in what he does and he'll do well. Mum keeps deteriorating, and all I can do is take her from doctor to doctor, hoping someone can fix her, it's a losing battle, but I will keep fighting it, no matter what. But I suppose doing that has taken its toll, working 16 hours a day does bring along a fuck load of wear and tear, lets hope things hold together, if not letting go of the world is an easy option.

The question of what I want to do with my life keeps recurring, but at the moment, I don't think the answer till go beyond my mother and taking care of her. Sigh, this does get tiring sometimes but someones got to do it. There is also the question of love but it's one of those rare moments where I'm fully single, no attachments. Of course, people still ask her V, but then again, she just another thing in the past. I never imagined hating, or wanting to hate her, but then again, where this thought is going doesn't matter. I have rediscovered awesomeness and let's hope it lasts. A fucking men.